How do we take care of ourselves? How do we connect with the deepest parts of ourselves instead of shivering alone in the dark? How do we learn to see ourselves as worthy of kindness?
When I began this journey, I often felt like dying. The pursuit of personhood exhausted all of my resources. I often felt drained of life, limp and ready for the compost heap.
I write in the past tense, when present would be just as fitting. The feelings come and go, or come and stay, or desert me altogether.
My therapist calls this Depression.
What makes you feel alive? For me? Fostering life. Maybe fostering life means an afternoon on the phone with grandchildren. Designing and making a colorful, dangle- festooned bracelet for a friend. Telling terrible jokes that leave my partner speechless. Gardening.
What makes you feel alive? What lifts at least a little of the burden from your weary soul? Cooking? Reading? Writing? Running? Taking a nap?
Make space for yourself. You deserve the solace of self care. Take a moment and breathe.
You’ve got this.